Thursday, May 8, 2008

I am Thankful

I am prone to depression. I have fought with it my entire life. It's something that runs in my family. I also fight general anxiety and social anxiety, as well as morbid thoughts. I don't know if that has a more technical term, but I often have "bad" thoughts (ie- things dealing with death or catastrophe). I guess technically it's anxiety, though I'm not "worried" about these things. But it's pervasive. "What if's" just pop into my head and make me sad. When you've got so much negative in your brain all the time, it can be hard to see all the positives that you have in your life. I have decided to keep a running list of things that I am thankful for so that it can be there to give me a gentle reminder when I need it. (these are in no certain order, just as they pop into my head)


1. I have a wonderful loving husband.
2. Even though my kids are "disabled", they are HEALTHY and not in pain.
3. I have a super cool rear entry van that will hold 2 wheelchairs!!
4. I have a fairly big house (err...... double wide LOL) that can hold all of the kids equipment).
5. My 12 year old son still likes to snuggle and be held.
6. My kids have good insurance.
7. I taught myself to sew.
8. I have the internet.
9. Katie seems to be learning easier/more than Jake at this age.
10. Katie is learning sign.
11. Jake's seizure are mostly controlled (all but myoclonics)
12. Katie has been seizure free for almost a year and a half (except 1 febrile in Dec.)
13. Katie is only on 1 seizure med.
14. Katie is eating!
15. My oldest daughter is alive, even if she hates me.
16. My husband has a job that he can take off for all the kids appointments.
17. I do not have to go to work (outside of home above all I'm lazy LOL
18. My new tv.
19. Mike's mom keeps Jake in emergencies.
20. All of my beautiful fabric.
21. I had as long as I did with my grandma.

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